These past few years, many of us have been challenged and stretched in ways that we’ve never experienced before.

This has called our faith, our patience, our hope, our health, our relationships, our compassion, and even our very survival, to the forefront or our daily experience. As as result, some of us have shifted our priorities and have learned to cherish what we may have once taken for granted. Many of us have upgraded our personal spiritual practices and are taking the opportunity to develop more compassion, inclusivity, and gratefulness.  That’s what I have been called to do.

There are a lot of viewpoints on what we’re collectively going through as a species during this time and what the “right way” to respond to the current health crisis is.

The threats of illness and death announced daily in the mainstream media are making many of us more aware of the frailty of being human. These threats can activate our fight, flight or freeze response – a natural response designed to help us face a physical threat, but one that doesn’t seem to serve us as we navigate these particular threats to our health. You might have noticed this within your own circle of friends and family. While in fight or flight, arguments arise, sides are taken, and some people are ostracized for not seeing the world a particular way.

Being exclusive like this is the opposite of how I want live. That’s why, when I encounter someone – or a group of people – who doesn’t share the same perspectives as I do, my priority is to remember our common humanity then  engage peacefully with kindness and respect.

So when I experience a disagreement with someone, I take a deep breath and focus on what unites us rather than what divides us. 

I don’t want to be one of us who reacts without thinking or causes divisiveness. Even though we may not believe the same thing, behave the same way, or share the same attitudes, what I count on is that each one of us has in common a heart full of love and understanding. (I sometimes imagine that everyone I meet has a big bright shining star bursting from their heart!)

So, when I don’t agree with another’s viewpoint, I make a conscious choice – and hope you do too. Instead of dismissing, degrading, name-calling, or criticizing someone or a group of people, or being the recipient of that same behavior, when or if we disagree, I look for the common ground and focus on the unity in our diverse perspectives. I aim to see the world the way someone else might.

I’ve even been trying is to eliminate the word “they” from my vocabulary and mind.

I aim instead to recognize our common humanity:  so I aim to see “one of us”, or “some of us,” instead of  “us” and “them”. That’s because overall, I believe we all want the same thing: peace, freedom, safety, love, and health. And I know that if we are divided, there will never be any of those.

The practice of remembering our common humanity does not involve giving up your beliefs, pretending you feel differently than you do, or caving to a different opinion. Instead, it involves broadening your understanding in order to see how some of us might have a different reality, all the while being kind – and not giving up your own convictions.

I also practice sincerely saying, “You might be right.” Or, “I can see how you might think that way.” Or, “Tell me more about why you think that.” It’s this shift in mindset that can encourage connection. And when we feel more connected – even if we think differently – we can come to some common understanding. I hope you join me in this practice. It’s simple but maybe not so easy!

“Our common humanity is more important than all the things that divide us.”

This is a quote from a 1976 Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Mairead Corrigan, a Northern Irish woman who wanted to rid the area of violence and encourage a healing dialogue. She knew that there had to be a way to find peace among diversity. She is an inspiration to me.

Unity based on a mere tolerance of physical, cultural, linguistic, social, religious, political, ideological and/or psychological differences, has the chance to truly evolve toward a more complex sense of unity: one based on an understanding that differences exist and but don’t need to separate us. When we remember our common humanity, our interactions and experiences can help us to live a harmonious human experience.

We can live and let live as we aim for a peaceful and enriching co-existence. 

The past two years have helped me to come to an understanding that unity among us can exist without everyone agreeing on only one perspective, and diversity between us can co-exist without fragmenting our common humanity. That’s the world I want to live in, and as Mahatma Gandhi once encouraged us to do, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”