Endangered Silence: Making time for Quietude
It’s 4:00 a.m. and I get up out of bed and walk out behind my house. All is still and quiet and in my mind, life is perfect.
The moon is nowhere to be seen. The wilderness behind my home is an endless dark void contrasting with the carpet of stars that sparkle deeply and clearly into the infinite sky. There is no breeze. The trees stand as silent and unmoving as the red rocks. It is almost as though I can hear the silence, it is palpable and refreshing. And as I walk back into the house, I can hear my breath and bare feet step slowly over the cool ground. I feel connected to and supported by everything. The sky is on my side. So is everything else.
I love this early morning before the jeeps start to crawl through the forests, or the helicopters hover above. In this moment it all comes back to me, the first time that I feel and expanded sensation of peace. I can remember the Buddhist meditation training center where I’d spend days and days in silence and meditation in a tiny cabin in the middle of a National Forest. But the life of an average American is much different than the life I lived in the monastic environment.
Americans and perhaps most cultures in the modern world, value getting things done quickly and filling every moment with a wide variety of sensual stimuli: music, a friend’s voice or text message social media, videos, podcasts, written word on the internet, the programs you record and have to watch, music as you drive or walk, the words from the newspaper, or the images in the magazines in your dentist’s office. There is no end to the noise and distraction we deal with.
An Entire Day in Front of the Television?
If you think I am making this ‘noise thing’ up, let’s take a look at what’s going on in America’s living rooms. According to Nielsen Media Research, half of our homes have three or more TVs, and at least one of those sets is on for an average of 8 hours and 11 minutes every day! The average American watches TV for 4 hours and 34 minutes every day – so in one week, the typical American has spent over one entire day sitting in front of the tube. In a year, that amounts to well over two months!
We can hardly hear ourselves think, never mind make thoughtful choices in our lives. Scientific research claims that we have close to 60,000 thoughts each day. Most are relentless layers of our musings of the past as well as our future desires. The magic of the present moment is where stillness and silence converge – the “gap” between our thoughts. And being in the silence and in the present moment is a rare experience these days unless you make room for it.
Silencing the Din
As a remedy to the constant noise and distraction, some people have come to practice mindfulness, a discipline of being fully attentive while doing just one thing. It’s the opposite of multitasking, a habit which a growing body of scientific research shows can actually make you less efficient, increases stress, diminishes perceived control, and may cause physical discomfort such as stomach aches and headaches along with memory loss and lack of creativity.
Mindfulness practices help to to train the awareness to be present for what is actually going on rather than having our attention on ideas or notions of what is going on. And yes, mindfulness practices can be frustrating for some, because they want to ‘get ‘er done’, and slowing down is a big challenge.
Mindfulness is a way of paying attention: on purpose, in this moment, while refraining from judgement. You can invite mindfulness in any moment.
Let’s see how you do. I invite you to try this mindful eating exercise – you’ll eat a piece of fruit without conversation, radio, television or reading. You’ll observe how you feel, where your mind wanders, and the judgements you make, all while aiming to be present with a simple piece of fruit.
- Read this through first.
- Then, turn off the telephone, radio, move away from your computer
- Choose a piece of fruit, and sit down, in silence.
- Experience the fruit with your sense. What does it feel like? How heavy is it? is it cold? Warm? bumpy, smooth, wet?
- Look at it closely, see the way the light reflect on its shape.
- Smell it, and tune in to the aroma without a label or judgement.
- Begin to eat it with your full attention on peeling, breaking open, biting into, and slowly chew it.
- Do this with your eyes open, then eyes closed.
- Notice how the taste changes, and hear the sound of the fruit as you eat it.
- Open your eyes, look at it again, and repeat until gone.
- Take your time.
Ok, now go find the piece of fruit and try it, now. I’d love to hear what your experience is!
Later, you can practice mindfulness while washing your hands, driving, breathing, walking, or even listening to another person. You can also schedule a family meal or a meal with friends and eat it completely in silence, mindfully.
Silence is Golden
When we take time to be in silence, we can actually experience what we are experiencing, and our mind begins to become more and more quiet. Silence helps us to be more self-aware. For those who take time out daily to be in silence (and not just while napping, or sleeping), their awareness eventually transcends the constant distraction of the thoughts of the past, the future, and the running commentary about our life and the people, places, and things it is made up of. And there is a spaciousness in thought. This reduces stress. This also gives us the space and time to make more nourishing choices.
There are many ways to invite more silence and the more time we spend in silence the more we can tune in to who we really are, and our relationship to that which we experience. Silence offers each of us an opportunity engage right here, right now, in this, the present moment, where we commune with our life and the intelligence that underlies it, and the magnificent, subtle and silent qualities of nature.
