Time to don your Jedi powers, especially those of peacemaking and paying attention. 

I have decided not to let my attention-cycle be controlled by the attention-cycle of social media or by the conversations being had in mainstream news. I’ve also decided to be on my own team, to be a free agent, but still connected to all that is, connected to the Force. And this takes paying attention, inquiring, gaining perspective, and a commitment to peacefulness and compassion.

I aim to be a Jedi: a guardian of peace and justice.  And you can too. All we have to do is to reclaim our attention – this means paying attention to what we are paying attention to and how it feels inside as we do. And make a conscious choice to focus on what we want to see in the world, and how we want to take action, over and over again.

What tribe are you in?

We are each indoctrinated into “tribal” culture. It’s a product of imprinting from our families of origin, conditioning of language, emotional dispositions, social values, educational systems, religious upbringing, environments, agreements, and economic systems, etc. These shape our world view. We often look for others who have similar beliefs and perspectives to hang out with. Teams or tribes are rarely inclusive: there are those of us who belong and those of us who do not.

Take sports for example. Many of us have been indoctrinated into tribes as it relates to sports. “I know what my team is.”  You wear certain colors and align with and are immediately friendly with those wearing the same colors, or the same hat, or sporting the same bumper stickers. Perhaps you all agree you really dislike the opposing teams.

Most of us recognize what teams we are on, or what clubs we’re in, or what tribes we belong to. Do you recognize any of these: red state/blue state, masks/no masks, democrat/republican, honoring/not honoring others’ sexual preferences, believers/non-believers, Christian/non-Christian, POC/white, Jewish/Arab, vegan/meat-eater, vaccinate/anti-vax, etc.

We basically know what our side thinks and believes.

When we align with our tribes/teams, and their exclusive stance, it certainly makes it easy to be in conflict with others on the “wrong” teams. Be very careful. Being on a team can make people act crazy. It signals the more primitive, reactionary part of the brain – the amygdala – which activates the fight or flight response. This reactionary part of the brain hijacks the clear-thinking, executive functioning of the brain – the neo-cortex. You’ve seen it at soccer games and football games. You see it on social media and on the streets. And you can feel the hijack when it happens to you, as your heart races, you start to sweat, and your body becomes very tense.

It’s important to notice when your attention gets hijacked.

When you notice you are drama-filled and reactive, if you can, take a look at what you are being driven by. And take a moment to return to center.  When you do, muster up your courage and inquire with kindness into your mental activity, unpacking the unconscious drivers of behavior and belief. What are my thoughts? Are they even true? What do feelings do these thoughts create? Is it peace? Is it stress? What actions will I take? Are they aligned with my values?

As modern-day mystic Richard Rohr says, “In order to have the capacity to move the world, we need some “social distancing” and detachment from the diversions and delusions of mass culture and our false self.” To get some distance, I like to ask questions. It gives me a wider perspective.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself while navigating these uncertain times (in no particular order): 

• Can I become more in charge of where I put my attention?
• Can I look more deeply than the outfit, flag, or team people are on, or that I root for?
• Can I make a higher-level decision about my beliefs rather than parroting that party line which I have been indoctrinated into?
• Can I make peace within myself, question my “knowns”, and stay interested while being kind?
• When I notice that I’m getting reactive or angry at people for their beliefs (you’ll feel it in your body), instead of taking it personally, can I rise above it?
• Can I allow myself to feel my feelings, my pain, my sorrow, and my anger, and move forward into positive action?
• Can I opt not to react or take a side, but instead, look deeper into the narrative?
• Can I commit to inquiring into my “I know mind”?
• Can I practice emotional intelligence, be responsive, and live my life in alignment with my values?
• Can I look deeper when I notice others are being hijacked by their fear around being secure, healthy, or safe?
• Can I be curious as to why someone is driven to do what they do and aim to be more compassionate and kind as they struggle?
• Is my life aligned with my values? (If you haven’t identified your values, now is the time! What are your non-negotiables? Some of mine include non-violence, reverence for all lives, seeing all beings as a manifestation of the Force, honesty, compassion, peacefulness, speaking up in the face of injustice, and leaving a small footprint on this earth.)

Live and let live. 

People will do what they do, believe what they believe, and act as they act, until they don’t. To think that they should act differently, think differently, or be different is not realistic. Yes, you may hope they do, but the reality is they are living in their integrity, just as you are living in yours.

As Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke Skywalker, “you’re going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.”

They have a whole set of beliefs and, it is what it is. You can’t change anyone else. It’s been tried for centuries and almost certainly leads to conflict. But don’t let that stop you from living your life. And acting on your beliefs. Keep going. They are on their own path and you’re on yours.

It’s important to recognize the effects of a thought.  

You’ve probably noticed this on social media. Let’s say someone posts something on social media – or you hear something on the news – and you think something in reaction to it.  That thought then leads to a feeling – these days it could be very passionate. This feeling leads to taking action – you change your behavior – perhaps you post something, wear something, eat something, etc. Then you have the results of the action, and they string together to create the life you live.

Recently I saw this unfold so clearly after I posted something on FB. My good friend of 20+ years got so incredibly angry at me – and those who agreed with me – for my beliefs, that she threatened to come after us with her fury, “the scorch the earth type” and promptly unfriended me. That is an example of an amygdala hijack. Her perception was so narrowed due to her reactivity, that she refused to see anything from anyone else’s point of view, and seemingly forgot that everyone is free to think as they think and live as they live (as long as they are not hurting anyone else), and she no longer saw the big picture and the reality of our long-term friendship.

Think-feel-act-have.

Stay present. Feel it all. Don’t leave yourself.  

Yes, you might be grateful for this pause and your ability to refine your life, recommit to your health, and perhaps your meditation practice.

Yes, you might get furious as people take advantage of, are violent toward, or oppress you or others.

Yes, you might be frightened as the way of life we once enjoy disappears.

And yes, perhaps you are excited and hopeful as we watch the systems which were so dysfunctional be destroyed, and new evolved systems possibly being born.

And perhaps you vacillate between them all during this now normal.

No matter what you feel, I suggest you feel everything that comes up in real-time whenever possible. Don’t make your feelings someone else’s problem.  As Yoda (the greatest Jedi Master) says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”   He also said, “A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.”

Feel the feelings as they come, and then they’ll have their own life. Don’t repress them. And, don’t hurt yourself or anyone else. Be kind.

There’s hope. 

I have hope. I equate this time on earth as if we’re in the middle of a wildfire: it can seemingly obliterate the landscape, but then, emerging from the ashes comes new growth. And with it, intelligence, new sustainable structures, and perhaps more equitable outcomes. The next normal. It could be very, very good.

So meanwhile, your attention is YOURS. You get to decide what you believe, how you are going to respond, and what your values truly are. You decide what you want to pay attention to, how you want to live, and if you trust this life. You get to stay present, engaged, and centered, like a Jedi. Meditation and mindfulness are essential for this!

As the late great Congressman John Lewis said, “Anchor the eternity of love in your own soul and embed this planet with goodness. Lean toward the whispers of your own heart, discover the universal truth, and follow its dictates. Release the need to hate, to harbor division, and the enticement of revenge. Release all bitterness. Hold only love, only peace in your heart, knowing that the battle of good to overcome evil is already won. Choose confrontation wisely, but when it is your time don’t be afraid to stand up, speak up, and speak out against injustice. And if you follow your truth down the road to peace and the affirmation of love, if you shine like a beacon for all to see, then the poetry of all the great dreamers and philosophers is yours to manifest in a nation, a world community, and a Beloved Community that is finally at peace with itself.”

May the Force be with you.