These past few years, many of us have been challenged and stretched in ways that we’ve never experienced before. 

We’ve had to deepen our faith, enhance our patience, pay more attention to our wellbeing, face issues in our relationships, expand our compassion, and confront our own mortality. As a result, some of us have shifted our priorities. Many of us have learned to cherish what we may once have taken for granted. We have upgraded our spiritual practices and have taken the opportunity to develop more compassion, resilience, inclusivity, and gratefulness.  That’s what I have been called to do.

There are a lot of viewpoints on what we’re collectively going through as a species during this time and what the “right way” to respond to whatever the current crisis is.

The threats of illness, death, and war announced daily in the mainstream media are making many of us more aware of the frailty of being human. These threats can activate our fight-flight-or-freeze response – a natural physiological response triggered when we face a physical threat, but one that doesn’t serve us well if activated by an imagined threat. And when activated chronically, the result can be detrimental to both our mental and physical wellbeing.

If you are chronically experiencing the fight or flight response, arguments can arise, sides are taken, and another’s perspective is often not considered. 

When in the fight or flight, instead of appreciating our diverse perspectives and recognizing our common humanity, people can  ostracize and label each other for not seeing the world or circumstances in a particular way. You might have noticed this within your own circle of friends and family.

Whether I am objectifying someone, or am the object of another’s objectification – being labeled, ostracized, or blamed – I feel a lack of connection, a lack of open heartedness, and a lack of compassion. This is opposite of how I want live.

Sometimes seeing someone as “other” is a habitual response – one that we have notice and consciously override. Noticing. This is where mindfulness comes in. It’s a particular way of paying attention: on purpose, in the moment, while refraining from judgement.

When I encounter someone – or a group of people – who doesn’t share the same opinions and perspectives as I do, I consciously aim to be mindful, remember our common humanity, then, at the very least, engage and listen with kindness and respect.

I don’t want to be someone who reacts without thinking or adds to divisiveness.

I don’t want to label someone and dismiss them. Even though we may not believe the same thing, behave the same way, or share the same attitudes or perspectives, it is a skillset to see another person’s perspective without ignoring our own. Especially in an election year!

When I experience a disagreement with someone, I hope to remember to take a deep breath and focus on what unites us rather than what divides us.

You and I can be responsible only for our own behavior –  and that includes our reactions/responses to the behavior of our brothers and sisters, and the energy and attitude we bring to any conversation and situation.

Now, I know we can’t control another person’s behavior, so if one of us becomes belligerent, disrespectful, or hysterical, it’s important not to engage with that energy. Instead, you can share your boundaries with grace (if possible) and then remove yourself from the space (if you can), so you can take care of your mind and body and recover from the energetic assault. You can activate your rest and digest response with self-soothing behavior – such as going for a walk, taking deep breaths, listening to uplifting music, journaling, talking to a friend, or meditating using practices such as R.A.I.N., Loving Kindness, or Ho’oponopono (practices my friend calls being in inner satsang.)

Each one of us was born with this in common: a heart full of love and a desire to connect. (I love to imagine that everyone I meet has a big bright shining star bursting from their heart!) 

I’ve even been trying is to eliminate the word “they” from my vocabulary and mind.  I aim instead to recognize our common humanity rather than taking a side. I aim to see “one of us”, or “some of us,” instead of  “they” and “them”. That’s because overall, I believe we all want the same thing: peace, freedom, safety, love, and health. And I know that if we are divided, there will never be any of those.

The practice of remembering our common humanity does not involve giving up your beliefs, pretending you feel differently than you do, or caving to a different opinion.

Instead, it involves broadening your understanding in order to see how some of us might have a different reality, all the while being kind – and not giving up your own convictions.

I also practice sincerely saying, “You might be right.” Or, “I can see how you might think that way.” Or, “Tell me more about why you think that.” It’s this shift in mindset that can encourage connection. And when we feel more connected – even if we think differently – we can come to some common understanding. I hope you join me in this practice. It’s simple but maybe not so easy!

“Our common humanity is more important than all the things that divide us.”

This is a quote from a 1976 Nobel Peace Prize recipient, Mairead Corrigan, a Northern Irish woman who wanted to rid the area of violence and encourage a healing dialogue. She knew that there had to be a way to find peace among diversity. She is an inspiration to me.

Unity based on a mere tolerance of physical, cultural, linguistic, social, religious, political, ideological and/or psychological differences, has the chance to truly evolve toward a more complex sense of unity: one based on an understanding that differences exist and but don’t need to separate us. When we remember our common humanity, our interactions and experiences can help us to live a harmonious human experience.

We can live and let live as we aim for a peaceful and enriching co-existence. 

I have come to an understanding that unity among us can exist even if no one agrees or holds the same perspective. It is totally possible to peacefully co-exist with people who have different perspectives as long as we all are able to focus on what we have in common, and even treat each other like a brother or a sister – with love. That’s the world I want to live in, and as Mahatma Gandhi once encouraged us to do, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Let’s keep aiming for peace!