I first heard a song by songstress k.d. lang called Constant Craving in the early days of my meditation journey. She sings about the state of constant craving that so many of us are used to living with.

Craving, when you consider it, it’s ultimately the state being dissatisfied with the way life is right here, right now.

Many of us crave something we believe is going to help us to be happy – whether it is the goal we want to reach, an amount of money we need to have, a certain type of food, drink, or substance we want to consume, or a specific type of relationship we want to be in…. the list goes on and on and it is very personal.

The craving for something – whether we actually know what it is or not – seems to me to be the opposite of being content. But if we look deeper, perhaps what each of us is craving is a deeper sense of connection, or truth. The lyrics to the song go,

“Even through the darkest phase

Be it thick or thin

Always someone marches brave

Here beneath my skin

And constant craving

Has always been

Maybe a great magnet pulls

All souls towards truth

Or maybe it is life itself

That feeds wisdom

To its youth

Constant craving

Has always been…”

Perhaps all our cravings are the souls’ craving for God. Maybe it’s a craving for something we already are and have.

But the truth is that many of us want more, and we’re working hard and setting lofty goals, and imagine once we get what we want or meet the goal, we’ll be happy. Being content, or feeling contentment no matter what is going on is difficult for most of us – especially if being discontent is a habit that colors your life (I know people like that!).

To offset the mental habit of craving, you can invite contentment.

But have you heard of the saying “The journey is the destination”? Perhaps it’s a good time to evaluate how you “journey” or how you are being while working your way to your destination? Do you really want to put off being happy or content while you wait, work, or plan? Do you really know how long you have on this planet, or how much time you have to spend with the people you love?

The word for contentment in Sanskrit is Santosha. (You may have heard of it, it’s one of the five niyamas.  Niyamas are one of the eight limbs of Patanjali’s yoga sutras and refer to personal practices that people engage in – basically, they are ways of being and engaging with life when no one is looking.)

Contentment is not only a way of living in the world, it is a benefit that naturally unfolds with the practice of mindfulness and meditation. It’s a beautiful way to live. I like to make it a personal practice, though it’s a challenging one to engage with. Being content is unconditional. For instance, no matter what, being content is possible. If it is sunny, you are content. And if it rains, you are content.

So I believe contentment requires falling in love. Falling in love with “what is.” 

When I practice contentment in meditation – welcoming everything and resisting nothing and being with “what is” –  and as I do, it overflows into an undeniable experience of contentment in my everyday life, too. I am “in love” with what is.

If I wake up tired—I imagine what love would do. Then, I make it a point to fall in love with the dullness. If I am running late for a meeting, I fall in love with the feeling of being frustrated or anxious. I fall in love with the drive and the stoplights along the way. I also fall in love with the way my heart breaks or how angry I get when I bear witness to suffering. Welcoming everything and resisting nothing. This is the practice.

Santosha asks us to become aware of the subtle habit of being discontent with life, and to be constantly in a desirous state. And, to instead practice gratitude, welcoming everything, resisting nothing, and return to love, return to truth, and return to accept what actually is happening right here, right now.

When I allow myself to fall deeply in love with everything, I find that wisdom is here, my contentment is here, and true spirituality is here.

As Lao Tzu wrote in the Tao Te Ching:

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

This is it. Be here, now. Practice contentment. Appreciate your life.

You can listen to conversations and meditations that yoga teacher Zac Occhiline and I recorded about this and other niyamas.